Thursday, July 23, 2009

mascara conspiracy

Personally, I think mascara is mascara is mascara.
I mean, you could conceivably pay tens of dollars for mascara, or 3.99 at Target.

Challenge: Guess how much I spend?

Right.

Anyway, last time at Target, I had a chance to test my theory. See, in those commercials on TV, they always make mascara seem so sexy, and like it is the bedrock of your beauty regimen. The mascara will transform your lashes into false eyelashes, without the glue!

I was seduced by the Lash Stiletto commercials (come on, you've gotta love Drew) and then at Target, the two-pack of Lash Stiletto was less expensive than two of my regular brand.

So I tried it. And I will admit, I was kind of excited. (Perhaps I should get out more?) But really: my lashes are nothing to write home about, especially since both my husband and daughter have really fabulous lashes. I can use all the help I can get, Drew. So I withdrew the wand and...

Really, it didn't look any different than my normal brand. Maybe a touch less gloppy. No thicker or richer or stiletto-ish. Just my lashes, but in black-brown.

Personally, I think the mascara companies have their normal $3.99 formula, and then the "Let's put Drew Barrymore in a commercial and slap a new name on the slightly misshapen bottle and call it Lash Stiletto and charge $5.99 for it!" And then people buy it while the commercials are out. When that dies down, they call it Lash Sabre or Lash Staccato or whatever, and find some other movie star to peddle it.

It's a lash conspiracy, people.

Actually, now that I think of it, that's not a half-bad name for a new mascara.

2 comments:

Diana said...

The one that gets me is the new vibrating mascaras. Seriously, as if I don't have enough trouble getting mascara onto my lashes without smearing it everywhere--let's add vibration! It's a conspiracy, for sure, to see how idiotic women can really get about their make-up rituals.

P.S. I tried Lash Stiletto too. Not so impressed.

Heather said...

Oh! I have _not_ seen the vibrating ones! That is truly awesome. What marketing genius came up with that?
"New! Vibrating mascaras that make your lashes longer and increase your chances of poking your eyes out!"