Sunday, September 2, 2007

am I weird?

So Lucy has started being kind of a Daddy's girl.
Today we were headed into Borders. Dyami and I negotiated about who was going to hold her. I got dibs. I put on the sling and started putting her into it when she started crying, reaching out to Dyami.
"Never mind then,"
I said and handed her off.
Am I weird that it didn't make me feel bad?
Don't get me wrong--I love my daughter, love holding her, but there have been so many times I have felt like having a break from being needed this year--and didn't get one because she wasn't ready for not needing me.
It feels great that she prefers Dyami some times. That I'm not the only one that can hold her! Comfort her! Feed her! Put her to sleep!
My fantasy of Dyami being able to do half the parenting work is coming closer to reality, and it feels pretty darn good.
Maybe I'll feel bad if there's something she does for him that she hasn't done for me yet (like when she started giving me snuggles before him, or saying Momma before Dadda). I'm still first, just not always preferred, so I'm comfortable with losing ground?
Or maybe it just feels good to share this parenting thing more equally.
SO tell me: do you think I'm weird?

1 comment:

Diana said...

I vote for not weird, but maybe I'm just making myself feel better. We used to share more M-care until he developed a mommy attachment upon Baby K's arrival. Why, just last night I did rock-paper-scissors with my husband to try to get out of requested mommy-bath, as it used to be his job. Talk about lame. I lost, by the way, only to find that M wanted only daddy during story time, my usual forte. Sharing is amazing.