Thursday, July 17, 2008

out of context

Me: Hey, guess what I found out?
D: ??
Me: Mommas are women. And daddies? Men.
D: Wow!
Me: Pop quiz! Am I a woman or a man?
D: Wow, that's a tough one. Ummmmm. Man?
Me: No, silly, I'm a woman!
D: Darn!
Me: And you. Are you a woman?
D: Uhhhh...
Me: I'll give you a hint. You're a daddy.
D: Oh! I'm a woman!
Me: Sigh.

Me: Can I tell you something crazy?
Friend X: Sure.
Me: Only babies use diapers!
X: Really? But what do grownups and older kids do, then?
Me: They go on the potty.
X: I did not know that.
Me: Yes. And not only that, they go both pee-pee and poo-poo on the potty.
X: The things you learn!

Me: So, I read online that when you stop using diapers, you wear underwear instead.
My relative: Oh! I'd always wondered about that.
Me: Yes, it's a little-known fact.
My relative: So underwear, then. A lot of people must use that.
Me: Yes, actually, I wear underwear myself. And I suspect you do, too.
My relative: How did you guess?
Me: But babies? They wear diapers.
My relative: So, let me get this straight. When babies get bigger, they become boys and girls, and wear underwear instead of diapers?
Me: Yes! You've got it!
My relative: But then, where do they go pee-pee and poo-poo?
Me: Well let me tell you...

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