day five

Besides the anxiety, things with sleep are going pretty well.
All things considered.
On the plus side, changing daytime sleep patterns has not seemed to affect her night time sleep. Unswaddled, she slept from a little after 9 to 6:15 this morning, then has been asleep after I nursed her until now (after 10). She's like the antiEnigizer Bunny.
Also a plus: our new pattern (nursing back to sleep when she pees first thing in the morning) means I have a leisurely breakfast, and some time to do a few things to get ready for the day. It has been almost two and a half hours of me time. This is unprecedented.
Also a plus: I have realized just how sleep deprived she was before. She had been acting super cranky and on-edge all day, every day and I was wondering if she had severe allergies to air. But her sleep deprived crankiness looks a lot like gas-induced crankiness, so that answers a lot of questions.
Also a plus: I re-read sections of The No-Cry Sleep Solution and saw a lot of us in the book. I've already tried some of the methods and though we don't have complete success, I think they'll work if I'm patient and keep trying.

Minus: The black tar-ball of anxiety lodged behind my sternum.
Minus: Having been locked in the house most of the last five days, trying to observe Lucy and figure out her new patterns.
Minus: All of this pattern-changing is a crap-load of work. Right now, during the day, she wakes up after every sleep cycle for her nap (after 20-30 minutes) and trying to get her to sleep past that requires energy and attention for an hour or more. I'm glued to the bed! And not in a restful way!
The problem with the no-cry/gentle approach is it means the parent gets severely inconvenienced (surprise!). This sounds like a decent trade off for no crying, but after the twentieth time of trying something and having it only sort of work, I am almost willing to give up and let the baby figure things out herself. Until college.

But here it is, 10:30 am, and she is still asleep. I have no idea what her sleep patterns need to look like today, but we are a little more sane than at 7 am, so hopefully I can roll with the punches.
Keep praying.