Finally! some progress.
First, the dramatic--I'm not quite so grumpy. I'm not sure what happened. Sage wisdom from two pro mommies helped. Sarah reminded me to try to relax and surrender into the work I have to do (ie take care of Lucy) and let go of the work I don't have to do (ie laundry, cleaning, and taking the last class for my degree next semester). I'm trying to relax, and less work certainly helps me not resent the work I can't hand off.
And Melissa helped me see that I don't have to be quite so obsessive, sitting in dark rooms for hours. I can take breaks, even if it means Lucy doesn't sleep quite so quickly.
And small incremental progress also helps improve one's mood. Lucy still can't stay asleep during the day if I'm not next to her, but she at least slept decently today unattached. Thanks, daughter. My nipples thank you, too.